Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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