Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think my vagina is haunted
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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