I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
