I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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