Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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