Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize