I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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