great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
