marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
