4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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