She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
