Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
