is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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