My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize