I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
