oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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