Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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