i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
