She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize