He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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