you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize