I'm sorry my penis didn't work
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
