can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
