You're my little dorito
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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