I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
