you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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