Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
