lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
