Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
