It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
