It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
