I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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