good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
