so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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