Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
