She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They are going to name an STD after you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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