Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
