If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
