a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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