she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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