i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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