im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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