Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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