I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize