I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
