was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Shame - the story of my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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