? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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