you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
foreskin is a definite game changer
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
