I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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