Well apparently he's into motor boating.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
