Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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