Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
