it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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