I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
