i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
