i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
