Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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